The Relationship Choice Most all of us have a few, if not more, relationships that are in disrepair. As we go through life, we have painful experiences with people—we’ve sinned against them, or they against us. If we’re not careful, we can build walls to try and keep the pain out, to keep ourselves from being hurt again. When we do that, we end up locking ourselves in a prison and locking other people out. To rebuild relationships, you have to tear down the walls.